Parenting, Teenagers and now Homeschool?

A growing concern for parents that are deciding to homeschool after their children have been to public or private schools is not always an easy decision and certainly can come with struggles in the transition.  Becoming a parent is already a full time responsibility and adding 'schooling' to the repertoire often is something unforeseen.  I remember when my first daughter turned 8 years old and wondering where that cute little baby went to.  She was growing so fast and suddenly searching for your own identity in her own world that I wasn't prepared for.   This child who had explored her world, who came with me on many of my adventures in my life, traveled with me, hung out with me, shopped with me, laughed with me, hugged me constantly was slowly showing me signs of resistance to all of that.  As I fumbled through each day communicating to her the way I figured was the best way at the time, I realized she was no longer this little person who wanted my constant attention and the ease of 'what was', for me was becoming 'what the heck?!'  As I internally processed the idea that she was 8, I realized no one had ever told me when she was this new little baby, a bundle of pure beauty and expressive joy, that one day I would be a mother to  an 8 year old, or a 12 year old.  Yet there I was, wondering daily, like the first months of her newborn life making sure I was saying and doing the right things correctly.   Where was the Chapter 8, or Step 8, or Age 8 part in the book that I could read now  to support this next stage?  Searching the book shelf I found the last book I had on parenting and what to expect and it was called, 'The First 2 Years'.  That obviously was not going to cut it.

For personal reasons we decided to home school when this daughter was 14 years old.   I wanted her to experience the 'school of life', to explore the world, to travel and to experience culture and to report back on that to the school.  Now a home learner, the school mandated that she  follow curriculum and at that time there was not another option.  With the books in hand, the curriculum in hand and the online teacher support I was transported back to Grade 9 with her.  It was as if I was having to redo my whole grade 9 year over again.   She had all the books and outlines from school that were expected of her. She had resources and access to online teachers for math which were extremely helpful.  To speak honestly I  realized how rusty I was and she was. We studied Social Studies 9, English and Math together.  It was a lot of writing, reading and answering pages and pages of questions and then submitting them.  What I noticed was that there was no satisfaction with learning when my daughter was doing the school work.  She was bright, already fluent in French and English and yet when doing her school work I observed that her goal was just to get it done and that was it. There was not much excitement in learning the school work or a satisfaction of learning what she read. In fact I was more into what she was reading when I studied with her than she was, even though I knew at one time I had studied this exact same material in school myself, somehow I was enjoying it more now than I did then!

Once the school work was done, as a family, we explored the the country we had traveled to.  We took Spanish lessons, traveled to unknown places and cites with ruins that were thousands of years old.  We climbed pyramids, swam in Cenotes, learned of early civilization, wars and ends of civilizations.  We went to museums, hiked, swam in the pools and the ocean and whatever we could do to explore this new world.   We saw those living in poverty conditions.  We had discussions about life, poverty, lack, gratitude, and forged a new relationships with each other that were more still, calm and grounded as we as a family and our children could see what life may really be like outside the classroom.  I wanted her to still excel in school and education and have a love for learning.  It was apparent that year, the love of learning from textbooks was not there.  The years of testing and submitting and worrying about a grade mark being the status quo were not a want or desire, just a want and a desire to 'get it done' and to move to the next grade.   Eventually that year ended and she went back to school in 10th grade.

There were many things I realized in that year and now looking back, we were fortunate to give that opportunity to ourselves as parents and to our children.  What was needed was remediation and time to unwind from the traditional school.  Very easily I could see how the affects of the learning in the atmosphere of pedagogy had hindered the older children's love for learning.  Taking the time to allow them to unwind from the school work, stress and to see that learning comes in a variety of ways aside from testing and regurgitating back information out of a textbook was important for her and for us as parents.

I have discovered, that my struggle as a parent suddenly having a teen homeschooled after traditional schooling, was having to change myself first and not the child. It was important to have the time for just rewinding, clarification and just shaking off the pressures of the traditional mindset.  I realized in that year, once I removed the pressure from myself that my child must succeed, or must get the highest mark, or must understand every thing she read immediately and if she didn't then unintentionally make her feel bad or not good enough or smart enough,  that she started to relax and really learn.  My desire to have her succeed was coming from a starting point of fear of what I would look like as a parent in that year if she did not get good marks or worse yet, failed a subject. To me that would of meant I had failed and I cared more about what others would think of me then what really was best for my child.   When I changed my starting point to one of understanding and love, and a real focus on what she really needed, it was then that I started to understand her world and her frustrations. When that became clear to me, something magical happened. This child that that I experienced in her first 8 years was still there and I just couldn't see it because of my own interpretations and my starting point of fear.  We laughed more, we had closeness, we communicated, we traveled, we hugged, we learned together.  She was free to find some of her own interests.  She still had to complete the school work and with my help she did. However she found that there were so many other things in the world to learn, explore and study that didn't have to end with an exam or a question/answer period, it was just natural learning.  I saw that part of the foundation of her learning in those first years of school with the pressures I had put on her to learn had become cracks that needed to be filled first with myself and then with her before more learning could take place.

I suggest if you are faced with deciding to homeschool your child for whatever personal reasons you may have, that as a parent you take the time,whatever time is needed to look at the foundation of learning first, not just your child's but your own.  All children are brilliant and given enough time, success will come.  It is important to look at the foundation whether your child is in traditional school or homeschooled and see where the cracks need to be filled in first.  Structuring that foundation to be the best comes from vocabulary and understanding how we use words as parents to the child.  I was not prepared to be a mother or a homeschool mother at the time and since have worked on filling in my own cracks in order to be more effective not just as a teacher to my children, but as a parent.  This goes a long way when suddenly your newborn baby is 14 years old! Prevention is always the best cure!

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How to Start Homeschooling Naturally

Once the decision is made to homeschool it can be challenging to know where to start and what to do.   When I made the decision to homeschool the 5th child it was when she was 2 years old. There were many avenues I could of taken.  Her environment was already one of exploring, playing and natural learning.  In a short 2 years she had learned to sit up, crawl, stand, walk and talk and think! Wow, imagine the amount the body can absorb and learn to do all that!  I had read a book on baby sign language before she was born and also taught her baby sign language before she could even speak so that I could give her a tool to communicate with.  It was amazing that at 6 months old she used her first sign with me and from then until she could use words, we communicated in sign language.  By the time you get to the 5th child, you get smarter and a little more creative, unfortunately the things you wished you had done, or wished someone had told you when you had your first child, you don't become skilled at until you have parent/child experience and with each child I learned as they learned.  We don't have a parent manual of a one size fits all 'what to do' and 'what not to do' when we become a parent.   I can say I did a lot of the 'to dos' and 'not to dos' by trial and error and by own  upbringing with my parents.  Little D at 2 years old had already so much going for her, she could speak very well, count to 20, do 100 piece puzzles, was super obedient and clearly I decided I was the best mother ever.  It wasn't until number 6 came along that every thing I ever thought I knew about motherhood and parenting went out the window! That is another blog I am going to start soon on the 'Gifted Learning Disabled'. 

Regardless of those experiences, the environment I provided for Little D and with her little sister 6 years later 'Little M' were the same.  The homeschool environment should be matching a place for free play and natural opportunities for the child to explore their world.  I started with just having my mornings devoted to play, reading books in a corner of the living room, or on a couch, or the floor, or kitchen table. We had crafts available, scissors to cut with, glue, and glitter. Toys were in the toy box, in the bedrooms and I would often rotate different ones in and out.   We had drums, a keyboard, maracas and music Cd's galore for singing and dancing along too.  Computers games for kids to learn on were just becoming mainstream and she at 2 could work a mouse and figure some things out. Today with my youngest its a whole different computer scene!  There was the favorite Barney Videos that had to be watched over and over again.  There were characters to act out from the various children movies they watched. Many times Tinkerbell or Snow White would show up for breakfast in the morning and we would play out the role with Little D who no longer was Little D but  in full character.  I acted out many parts for the princess movies she adored watching. There were many apples with one bite taken out of them as Little D would rewind the scene multiple times a day where Snow White would eat the apple and be poisoned.  There was little D also falling on the floor in a full out faint with the apple rolling away.  Often I was the prince, the fairy godmother, the wicked stepmother in each scene where appropriate and she was Cinderella. We must have acted out the same scene 50 times, each time cued perfectly to her timing.   When we went to the store it was learning, when I cooked there was learning, when we gardened there was learning.    The home environment was key to providing her a place to create freely, unencumbered from any structure aside from the structured time I set aside every morning to be completely engaged in their world.

Often I have heard new mothers starting their homeschool journeys concerned about where and how to start.  Feeling so much pressure on them to educate their child to prepare them for life, I know I did.  It can be daunting and seem overwhelming.  Keep in mind that a child has a natural learning ability and they will form their character from those first 7 years.  From the time they are born, speak to them with clear concise words and make sure your words match the correct meaning even through play.  A child's vocabulary or lack of vocabulary has a huge impact as studies now show in the first 18 months of a child's life that affect their learning in higher education.   The more words a child has spoken to them daily has impacts on their learning as they grow.

Here is a quote from the following article ""...By the time a child is three there will be about 1,000 trillion connections in his brain, and that child’s experiences continuously determine which are strengthened and which pruned. This process, gradual and more-or-less irreversible, shapes the trajectory of the child’s life..."

http://www.economist.com/news/science-and-technology/21596923-how-babbling-babies-can-boost-their-brains-beginning-was-word

We underestimate the human body and with so much new information coming out with common sense perspectives, we may just be able to design that parent manual after all.   There will be many opportunities for your child to learn as they lead you to their passions and joys through play.  Whether you stick with homeschool or not, the environment is a key point to their natural learning ability and the way they will learn.  Enjoy the moments and watch your child blossom.

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Vocabulary - Teaching Words That Matter Most - A Scholastic READ ABOUT

Common sense can tell us that we are the words that we know.   We are doctors, lawyers, teachers, researchers, technicians and scientists, to give a few examples, because of the words we know.  Vocabulary is important to effective communication in an ever changing and competitive world, where understanding one another in clear definitive way is not as commonplace as we would like it to be.  When it comes to the success of our children today, what emphasis do we place on learning vocabulary at home and in our schools?  Are the results our children are getting good enough for what we as parents would like from them or what the world expects of them? The following article from Scholastics Read About entitled Narrowing the Language Gap: The Case for Explicit Vocabulary Instruction takes a look at how vocabulary is taught in schools and given the pivotal role of vocabulary in virtually all aspects of academic competence, it is alarming that classroom research consistently reveals how relatively little focused academic vocabuarly instruction actually occurs in the typical K-12 classroom. 

http://teacher.scholastic.com/products/authors/pdfs/Narrowing_the_Gap.pdf

The article is upfront, to the point and backed by vocabulary research and with combined  50+ years of classroom experience of the authors and provides a clear foundation for an effective and efficient vocabulary instructional routine. The magic word here would be 'foundation' as without a proper foundation within words, how strong would the future of our children actually be? Imagine yourself standing on a 12 story building you personally built not realizing until the 12th floor that you did not even use footings.   Would you want to stand on that building or want your children to stand on it? The authors look at what a foundation with proper footings can look like at the instructional level within the classroom. 

"Something as rudimentary and essential to teachers as how to teach an important new word effectively is rarely mentioned in both language arts and content area curricula. Surprisingly, teacher’s editions of core curricula routinely direct teachers to address central lesson vocabulary with little more than the brief exhortation to preview, cover, review, or introduce key terms. Meanwhile, they neglect to provide any explicit direction in how to effectively and efficiently teach word meanings. The following steps can most certainly be elaborated and adapted, depending upon the relative importance of the words in question and students’ background knowledge. However, in our experience, students greatly benefit from a consistent and recognizable approach that incorporates the following steps:

1) Pronounce- Classroom observations indicate that, far too frequently, the teacher is the only person who pronounces and uses the academic language of the disciplines. Thus, the first step in teaching a new term is guiding students in correctly pronouncing the word.
2) Explain - Understanding the meaning of a new term requires a clear explanation
of the meaning, using language familiar to the student.
3) Provide Examples- Students will usually need at least two or three examples of a new term to firmly grasp the meaning. Moreover, these examples should be drawnfrom a variety of contexts, not only the one used in the reading or lesson.
 4) Elaborate - Research in cognitive psychology consistently indicates that learners understand and remember information better when they elaborate on it themselves.
 5) Assess- Researchers such as Baker et al., (1995) and Marzano (2004) have documented the importance of incorporating regular informal vocabulary assessment into the instructional process, especially with academically diverse learners. Assessment of vocabulary involves both formative, quick informal checking for understanding during the lesson, and summative evaluation as students subsequently take a formal quiz or test. In all forms of assessment, it is helpful to go beyond simple memorization or matching tasks and require students to demonstrate some deeper level of thinking and understanding.
The basic instructional process outlined above is offered as a foundational strategy, not an end point"

The above is just a snapshot view given as the authors go into more detail with comparisons of the how and the why as a building block and while looking at the information provided in the professional report it should be considered as parents that we can also follow this same consistent and recongizable approach and bring it to the home environment as well. We do not have to wait for a child to attend school before implementing what can easily be done at home.   The reality is for example, Durkin (1979) found that upper-elementary teachers spent less than 1% of their overall reading instruction focused on vocabulary. More recently, Scott and Nagy (1997) documented the paucity of vocabulary instruction in 23 ethnically diverse upper-elementary classrooms, reporting that only 6% of school time was devoted to vocabulary, with only 1.4% allotted to content area vocabulary. Biemiller (2001) reached a similar conclusion, noting that there appears to be relatively little explicit vocabulary teaching in the elementary grades. 

We have more responsibility as parents to set that foundation strong and secure and we as parents at the end of the day, know and understand the true potential of our own chidren better than anyone else and given a good blueprint for understanding words and how words create our world, we can ensure the success or our children so that their starting point or 'footings' is based on vocabulary and clear meanings of words that ultimatley ensure their success in life and the success of our nation. 

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Investments in Education During a Child's First 8 years...Crucial

Most parents would agree, if asked, that they want the best for their child and most understand that starts with education.  What that education costs and how early that education is started depends on many factors.  According to a recent report, investments in education during a child's first 8 years of life is crucial to academic, and overall success.   To help make its case, the report issued Monday by the Annie E. Casey Foundation highlighted a recent analysis of the Early Childhood Longitudinal study, which found just 36 percent of third graders had developed age-appropriate cognitive knowledge and skills. The longitudinal study started tracking 13,000 children who were enrolled in kindergarten during the 1998-1999 school year.

http://www.progressillinois.com/quick-hits/content/2013/11/04/report-investments-during-childrens-first-eight-years-crucial-school-l

According to the Casey Foundation's report, young children who do not hit these crucial developmental targets often have problems catching up in school and graduating on time. It is also less likely for such children to attain the future financial success and stability needed to support their families, the report noted.

If the first 8 years are that crucial then what can a parent do at home to ensure that their child gets off to a great start for cognitive knowledge and skills before they reach kindergarten or first grade?

"Research suggests that parents who are financially comfortable tend to devote more resources and time to their kids, in part because they can. In work they conducted at the University of Kansas and chronicled in their book Meaningful Differences in the Everyday Experience of Young American Children, Betty Hart and Todd Risley recorded, for two-and-a-half years, a full hour of conversation every day between parents and children from 42 American families of differing social classes. Children with professional parents heard about 30 million words by the time they turned 3, compared with 20 million in working-class families and 10 million in welfare families. In addition, the ratio of parental encouragements to reprimands was about 6-to-1 among professional families, 2-to-1 among the working class and 1-to-2 in welfare homes. These different experiences closely tracked with the children’s later academic and intellectual performance, and other studies have since supported these findings."

 http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/the_kids/2013/01/how_important_is_preschool_if_you_are_researching_early_education_philosophies.html

Mr.Shiver in the below article points out that investing in a comprehensive national early childhood program could add $2 trillion to the annual gross domestic product within a generation, according to the Brookings Institute, and result in a dramatic decrease to poverty rates.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-kennedy-shriver/america-cant-afford-to-wa_b_4265452.html?utm_hp_ref=education&ir=Education

To understand your role as a parent in the first 8 years consider your financial situation as lucky if you are in the professional parent category according to this study.  Whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not, money and social class background do play a strong role in the those formative years in a child's life.  The bottom line here is that it is our responsibility as parents and stewards of our planet to ensure all children are given the tools to succeed in school and in life. 

"Investing in a comprehensive national early childhood program could add $2 trillion to the annual gross domestic product within a generation, according to the Brookings Institute, and result in a dramatic decrease to poverty rates."  - See more at: http://pugetperspectives.blogspot.com/2013/11/how-will-society-as-whole-benefit-from.html#sthash.YmIqqJsS.dpuf

The bottom line is that it is our responsibility as parents and voters, and stewards of our planet to ensure children are given the tools to succeed in school. The benefit is not just to the individual or the family, but to society as a whole, as better educated children are more likely to go on to get a higher education, earn higher incomes, and become more productive, critically thinking members of society with a greater ability to take responsibility for their world - our world. - See more at: http://pugetperspectives.blogspot.com/2013/11/how-will-society-as-whole-benefit-from.html#sthash.ajUNDYBm.dpuf

The bottom line is that it is our responsibility as parents and voters, and stewards of our planet to ensure children are given the tools to succeed in school. The benefit is not just to the individual or the family, but to society as a whole, as better educated children are more likely to go on to get a higher education, earn higher incomes, and become more productive, critically thinking members of society with a greater ability to take responsibility for their world - our world. - See more at: http://pugetperspectives.blogspot.com/2013/11/how-will-society-as-whole-benefit-from.html#sthash.ajUNDYBm.dpuf

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